supple skin sliding
old wine to follow
gourmet grub
contained
in centuries past
Love, family
threads of childhood
routine, admiration
regret of secrets
Based on the book The Namesake
Based on the book The Namesake
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Amol this feels like a good start, but I see it as the skeleton of your poem. Now put some flesh on it. The smell of the books...their colors. The taste of the wine...its color. What grub? How does it smell and taste? Dig deeper.
ReplyDeleteI like how it sounds because it kind of feels like it's someone life. Like a routine almost.
ReplyDeleteI like how it is not so detailed and kind of mysterious. It vaguely describes the setting, but I feel a little more would help. Nice job
ReplyDeleteI have a familiar feeling about the love, family, threads of childhood, routine, admiration... People always go through these feelings in their lives.
ReplyDeleteIt's so short but has so much more to it. It's simple but in a way complex all at once. I think its interesting you chose to write it this way. The second part of the poem stood out to me because you mainly list it out and I like the last line " regrets of secrets". It makes the person seem very mysterious and had a troubled past.
ReplyDeleteI think this poem has a lot of potential to be great. I feel like if you were a little more descriptive with some certain aspects such as tastes and how certain things looked it could be a really great poem.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the description used in the beginning. It makes me thing of France because they love to just drink wine. It sounds relaxing to just read and drink wine. I really like the line "supple skin/sliding/old wine," it is very descriptive.
ReplyDeletei loved this movie that after reading this i want to read the book. good job!
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